I watch.

Noah began swimming lessons in a mommy and me class last week. By Friday, we were both exhausted and I was left feeling defeated; maybe Noah would be the one and only person in my family to not like the water. Noah's response to all my prompting to participate in class was usually a resounding, "No!" and "I Done!" The toys and songs, deftly utilized by the instructor, worked for short periods of time, but progress seemed lacking and the 30 minute class seemed to last a lifetime. The most amusing aspect of the week came in Noah's response to me as we prepared to get in the water on Wednesday, "I watch. I watch Mommy" he said. "No Honey, you can't just watch, you have to try," I said. Later that day I understood something a little deeper. Noah was like me. He may look like a blond version of his father, but he had my personality. Every time I go to try something new, I always get butterflies in my stomach. I have never had that carefree sense of abandon to throw myself into some thrilling new activity. There is that little voice in my head that always causes me to stop a little short, "I watch" it says. But of all the traits of mine that Noah could have this is definitely not my pick. I have realized that every time I allow that voice to cause me to take a seat, I miss an opportunity to "experience" instead of just "watch". I want my son to "experience". Fear can be healthy when it rightly keeps us from danger, but too much fear can keep us from life! So each time Noah is ready to "sit this one out", I will keep saying, "You can't just watch , you have to try." Today was the beginning of our second week of lessons and today he did a little bit more. This is all I can ask, because tomorrow he will try a little bit more still. I love you my boy.